Firing Up the Steaks of July, Part 3

In which I finish off this nostalgic dive into a trio of my picks for steakhouses 5, 10, and 15 years ago.

Having finished off my entries for 2015 and 2010, it’s time to go back the full twenty years to 2005. I had just moved to Buenos Aires… actually, I hadn’t. I had come down to spend about eight weeks here, planning on moving to Key West, Florida. I was in negotiations to buy a small building there that had a defunct restaurant on the ground floor and a one bedroom apartment above it. The offer had been made an accepted, paperwork was in the offing, I was ready to write a check, all the usual stuff. And then something on the sellers’ end hit a snag and all was put on hold.

This turned out to be fortuitous in a couple of ways. First, and the long-term part, I simply extended my stay here in Buenos Aires, awaiting things to get resolved. Lawyers and real estate agent and city officials and all that. Henry and I began spending more and more time together and I started to think about what it might take to have him come back with me to the US. And then we got to October… and Hurricane Wilma… and the building in question became a large pancake, apparently. Or so the realtor phrased it. My deposit was returned and became a big chunk of what I used to then buy an apartment here. It just seemed a sign not to go to Key West, plus, as might be guessed, it was far easier for me to stay in Argentina - they were desperate for people to come and spend money - than to get all the right visas and green card for Henry.

But, back to July. A colleague of mine from New York - he a wine salesman, I a wine buyer - had moved down to Buenos Aires shortly before I came down to spend those six weeks. We met up a few times, and struck up a bit of a friendship that later came to an end as I discovered his rather deep-rooted homophobia, misogyny, and racism - pretty toxic all around. But we ventured out to a few restaurants over the months, and one of them was Las Cholas, Arce 306, in Las Cañitas. The name, elsewhere, could be a bit off-putting. In Mexican slang, cholos and cholas are basically gang members. In Argentina, it refers to someone of mixed race and can be either positive or negative, depending on how it’s used and between whom.

Here are my thoughts back then: “We decided to pick somewhere that looked a little more popular, and found three parrillas on one block that all were jammed with folks. And I do mean jammed – the one we settled on, Las Cholas … has two levels with well over 200 seats, and virtually every one of them was occupied. By the way, when we left a couple of hours later, around 11:45, most of the restaurants that we’d seen empty at 8:30 were now quite busy, and there were people on the streets looking for places to eat!

We ended up on the second floor, basically a gravel roof with a plastic tent erected over it. It was dark – you’d need a candle just to find your way to the candle lighting your table. We opted to sit near the open kitchen where at least there was a bit of a glow coming from a few lights there. It was also warmer there. As our eyes adjusted it became clear that we’d stumbled into one of the “in” spots for the 20-something crowd, and over the course of the evening, we were pretty much it in the over 30 world. Oh yes, it’s also a bit on the noisy side. Surprise.”

As to the food: “For an appetizer, I had the "mix achurros" - note to the squeamish, don't look - which was listed as a classic grill of chinchulínes, riñónes, & mollejas, or, respectively, intestines, kidneys, & sweetbreads. What arrived was a quite large sizzling platter of the first two, and a slice of calf's liver rather than the sweetbreads; as best I could gather, despite the menu, the mixed grill changes depending on what's available - without notice. Now, before you go "ewwwww" about the intestines... okay, it's already too late, they're really very good. I've had them before, in Italy (where it's called pajata) and Uruguay, prepared in similar ways. What you're getting is the intestine of a very young calf, when it's had nothing to eat but mother's milk, which is left inside them. The intestines are grilled or roasted, which sort of turns the milk into a cheese like consistency. In terms of the intestine itself, hey, it's meat - slightly chewy, slightly crispy when grilled, but it's meat. The mixed grill was delicious if a little fatty for my tastes, and with a squirt of lemon juice and some salt was a nice reintroduction to this Argentine classic. Michael tried their tamales norteños which he said had the right texture and were really only missing one thing, flavor.

The main courses offered were a variety of different meats, each served with french fries. Michael had the chicken breast, I had the pork ribs (pechitos de cerdo) - three quite large ribs with way too much fat and way too little meat on them. The flavor was just fine, and after the mixed grill I was pretty much full anyway, so I guess the lack of quantity wasn't a bad thing, but if it had been my only dish I'd have been disappointed. We also shared a platter of grilled vegetables - a really nice selection of potatoes, sweet potatoes, eggplant, tomatoes, mushrooms, zucchini, and onions.”

It wasn’t a wow experience, but it was good all around, and it became a spot that I popped into various times over the next couple of years for a steak or classic northern dish and always had a good meal. But the place faded away as I discovered other, and better spots over time. Still, given this little memories project, it felt like time, after probably 11-12 years, to revisit it.

Somehow, I had never connected mentally Las Cholas with La Cholita here in Recoleta, along with its next door neighbor, Cumaná, which I popped into recently when doing my guiso carbonada search. But now seeing it, they’ve got the same basic décor, they give you the crayons to draw on your table paper. Light bulb moment, and yes, it turns out, they’re all the same owner. Now, I like Cumaná a lot, it’s a regular place to grab lunch here in the neighborhood. I haven’t gone into La Cholita in years (they’re next door to each other).

The bread looks good, and it probably was, yesterday or the day before.

Sticking with my approach on the previous two spots… empanadas! One beef, one lamb, one spinach and cheese. There were three of us at the table, one being a vegetarian. They’re pretty darn good. I particularly like the beef one with a heavy hit of green onion in it. 4000-4500 pesos apiece, just over $3.

Their approach to steaks just isn’t what it used to be. All their steaks now come with a side of “vegetable rice” and French fries. No options for substitutions. No options for how the steak is cooked - they come out well done, dry, and chewy, or at least this did - but the option was simply not accepted (as in, I asked for it rare to medium rare and got “this is how we cook it”). The fries are flat ribbons that are so thin that there’s only the semi-crispy exterior with no fluffy potato interior. And the vegetable rice is just oddly flavored, maybe cooked in some sort of stock that wasn’t well balanced. Just a complete disappointment and nothing like past experiences, which, again, were over a decade ago. 39000 pesos, about $30. Our vegetarian compatriot ordered a squash and corn quesadilla. Why are there quesadillas on an Argentine steakhouse menu? He said it was good, but I noted that he didn’t eat much over half of it. 22000 pesos, about $16.50.

Overall, a complete disappointment. The room is fine, the service was fine, the place was empty throughout lunch - I think while we were there two older women came in, clearly regulars, and had salads, a trio of younger folk came in, and a single woman, and that was it. The food - the empanadas were the only thing that was above mediocre level.

Their logo - a cow atop a beehive oven. Better that she stay atop and/or move on. And why a beehive oven for a place that primarily cooks on a grill?

This one’s a pass.

So, looking back on this trio - one top notch (from 5 years ago), one good (from 10 years ago), and one no good (from 15 years ago).

August is going to be easy - 2020 pandemic, 2015 and 2010 we were on vacation for most of the month both years and didn’t eat anywhere here of note. So it’s just going to have one or two spots from 2005. We’ll see how they fare now.